Stall Scrawls - Bathroom Wall Quotes
|
| One of the last untapped (and overlooked) sources of poetry is the stuff found on the stalls of the local bathroom. Sure, we've seen the usual crap, like "Call Betsy for a good time" or "My penis is huge" but occasionally while dropping the kids off at the pool we've seen genius at work. Perhaps even you have taken the time to write something creative, share it with us. Either way, read our user submitted collection of bathroom wall quotes from around the world. |
 |
|
| At TurdWords.Com, we've given you the opportunity to gain wisdom from the scrawlings of other scatalogically inclined people, such as yourself. Check out what your fellow visitors have recorded below or feel free to submit one of your own. |
|
|
Showing 1-25 of 199
[ Next 25 >> ]
|
|
|
Do you like Big Boobs? These hefty's are looking for you.
|
|
|
If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
|
|
Submitted by: Sheila
|
Added: 2/1/2003
|
(6274 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Workplace Crapper
|
|
|
No matter how you squeeze and dance, the last few drops go down your pants
|
|
Submitted by: WaxWorm
|
Added: 2/1/2003
|
(3967 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Common
|
|
Here I sit, in the hall of vapors.
Some darn fool done stole the papers.
The bell has rung I must not linger.
Look out ass cuz here comes my finger.
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/1/2003
|
(3011 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: KMart Crapper
|
|
Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to fetch her dog a bone
When she bent over,
then Rover took over
cuz he had a bone of his own
|
|
Submitted by: Arizona Ron
|
Added: 2/1/2003
|
(3078 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: 12th Street & Vine, Kansas City
|
|
|
Pity those whose poetic wit
Is inspired only by the smell of shit
|
|
Submitted by: Ross
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(3014 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: outhouse at local state park
|
|
Here I sit, brokenhearted
Came to shit, but only farted
|
|
Submitted by: Ross
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2952 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Barnes & Noble
|
|
I have a soul mate
Who doesn't exist.
You've never touched me
We've never kissed."
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2979 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Lake Geneva, WI
|
|
|
Don't laugh, it's God's joke!
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2954 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Above the mirror in a club bathroom, Japan
|
|
Excuse me while I stop and think,
"I wonder why my urine's pink?"
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(3130 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Miami, FL
|
|
|
Don't read this, the joke is in your hand.
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2984 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Above urinal
|
|
I fucked in France,
I fucked in Spain.
I fucked up and down
the coast of Maine.
But I'll never be happy
I'll never be free.
Till I fucked the Navy
like the Navy fucked me
|
|
Submitted by: Billy
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2879 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: New Jersey
|
|
|
Ode On A Toilet Paper Roll
If you picked this up to read
then I planted just the right seed.
Your curiosity got the better of you,
I just wanted something to do.
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2934 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Washington D.C
|
|
|
Search for Black Women Seeking Men just like you
|
|
|
Ah, my friend, I've struck again
but I've nothing important to say,
The sun is out and I am about to
go home and have a great day!
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2964 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Lake in the Hills, IL
|
|
The bathroom poet strikes again,
these empty rolls just tempt my pen.
You'll never know when I'll come through to leave a poem made just for you.
|
|
Submitted by: RJ
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2829 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Crystal Lake, IL
|
|
Upon this great, white throne I sit
trying hard to take a shit.
Now I leave here so broken hearted,
I had to shit but only farted.
|
|
Submitted by: Adam
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2848 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Ceasars Palace Hotel, Las Vegas
|
|
There once was a boy from Peru
Who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Venus, he tickled his penis
.....and woke up with a hand full of goo.Found at: Construction site porta-potty
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2917 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling....
She laid on her back, and tickled her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling!
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2857 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: construction site porta-potty
|
|
There once was a man from Madrass
Whose balls were constructed of brass
He'd go for a walk, they'd play stormy weather
.....and lightning would shoot out of his ass!
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(2993 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: construction site porta-potty
|
|
There once was man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long, he could suck it!
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin...
"If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it!"
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(3563 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: construction site porta-potty
|
|
|
Flush twice....it's a long way to the cafeteria.
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(6374 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: University of Wisconsin men's room.
|
|
|
Q: Is diarrhea hereditary?
A: Yes. It runs in your jeans! (genes) Found at: School bathroom
|
|
Submitted by: HeyJoe
|
Added: 2/3/2003
|
(3496 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Those who write on bathroom walls,
roll their shit into little balls. Those who read these words of wit eat those little balls of shit.
Reply:
The person that thinks he writes of wit, has fingers that smell like little balls of shit!
|
|
Submitted by: ralph
|
Added: 2/4/2003
|
(2902 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Sea World Bathroom
|
|
You can shake it, you can squeeze it, you can bang it against the wall.
But you've gotta get it back in your pants for the last Goddamned drop to fall.
|
|
Submitted by: ¤¿¤ §oûpBôNë ¤¿¤
|
Added: 2/4/2003
|
(3634 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Hustler Magazine circa 1979
|
|
Some come here to sit and think
Others come here to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls
And read the bullshit on the walls
|
|
Submitted by: pleed
|
Added: 2/5/2003
|
(5475 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: Public Toilet in Australia
|
|
|
Please don't eat urinal mint
|
|
Submitted by: justin
|
Added: 2/5/2003
|
(3641 votes)
|
Vote:
|
|
Found At: resterant
|
|
|
Showing 1-25 of 199
[ Next 25 >> ]
|
