Follow turdwords on Twitter

Currently 12,351 words
Ask TurdWords
Stall Scrawl
Turdwords Quiz
Word Factory

Ask Turdwords Volume 24 Ask Turdwords Volume 24  View all volumes
Once again, I've neglected my turdly duties of late and haven't taken care of the questions. So once again, I apologize. I really don't have any excuses on this one. So either forgive me or you can give me a Hot Lunch.

Better yet, check out this gem for a quick laugh (it's work safe): Funny Video Maybe this is a cure all for those Cum Dodgers out there.

As usual, if you want to ask us question, simply submit it here: Ask Turdwords!


whats the name of the act of taking a dump in the resivour tank of the toilet?
dipstick/st. louis mo
That would be the old Upper Decker. It's about as old of a trick as your dad's Ghastly Ghost. But if happens to you, I'd say you were "fucked".

Hey, fuckheads! "Macaca" is in the news a lot this week. Why the fuck don't you have a definition for this offensive slang word among all your other fucking turdwords? Just kidding ... you guys rock ... not really.
Gruntman, New Jersey
Looks like another genius from New Jersey... probably got his girlfriend to do a New Jersey Crackpipe with him and now he thinks he is the shiznit.

I looked it up... it refers to a (monkey primate , something obviously evolution hasn't taken care up there in New Jersey (probably because they think intimate sex is performing New Jersey Meathook on each other.

Oh well, we don't do racial words here... let's let ignorance died where it should... in New Jersey.

how come pee wee herman makes me fear for my anus?
erin Atlanta, GA
Probably repressed memories from performing Analingus on your dad after he caught you masturbating to The Nightmare Before Christmas.

what is a raspberry beret
john Indiana
Easy, check out this one: Raspberry Beret. Think of that next time you hear Prince's song.

Usually messy.... There are a ton of words that refer to this act... depending upon if it is was intentional or not. I guess some people really enjoy it, but assuming it was accidental, I'd probably go for Chocolate Orgasm

When I sit down to shit but piss first, then the turd flops and splashes piss juice on my balls. What would I call this oh so common occurrence?
David - MC Base Camp Pendleton
I like the Alabama Bidet and the Golden Ass Wash.

Do you know how many male ejeculations it takes to fill up a gallon jug? Do you know how I can get my hands on such a product? I don't mind tuggin a few cocks or suckin some balls but you know how raw the lips can get? Just talkin about this makes my asshole want to hug some serious cock!!! I guess now is a good time to start my stock-pile huh? Only problem is,............I swallow!
noni mous The Blue Oyster
Why would you want to do this? I can't imagine what you would do with it... Are you going to bring a big old gallon of Man Juice to show and tell and explain to everybody how much of a Cum Dummy you are?

Sounds smart to me.

Incidentally, the answer is 1623 loads, assuming each male hasn't jacked off in three days and has normal sperm producing capabilities. Not one more, not one less.

I usually masterbate while in the fetal position so my cum hits me in the face. Am I gay or do all guys do this also? ----Also, How do astronauts masterbate in space? There would be spunk floating everywhere! Sound like a dreamland to me.
noni mous The Blue Oyster
No wonder you are having problems gathering your gallon of sperm. Looks like we have to set your straight. Usually guys Punch the Clown and deposit their loads in a Spanky Hanky or even a Jizz Towel

As far as astronauts ... they don't masturbate. On those long trips you have to ask yourself what those experimental monkees are for...

What is a polish bicycle or polish bikeride? I heard one of those on South Park and I cant find it on here.
Weaver, OR
You've now been informed: polish bike ride.

I love this sight and was just curious about what the original turd words were.
Grizz--Pewamo, MI
Look up any word and use your browser's URL window and change the wordID to 1 through 20 or so. Those are about the original turdwords that we invented when we started this hokey site. I don't think any one thought that this site would become anything, least off all, make a nice little profit from time to time. Either way, it's been fun.

When we first started we just came up with a word of that day at work and wrote it on a white board (at our regular day jobs). We'd come up with profane definitions (but not write those). Someone suggested we make a website for them and we figured who would come?

Well let's just say several thousand (maybe even hundreds of thousands at this point) have been enlightened by our wisdom.

Can I get my name removed from the website? I'd rather not come up on TurdWords when I'm googled.
Listen geniuses -- don't submit these kinds of requests to Ask Turdwords. I get these and most of the time people don't put the word(s) that their names appear on, nor do they tell me what their name is. So I have no idea what to do... about as smart as your girlfriend Bobbing for Babies.

Simply send me an e-mail. Don't worry. I don't bite and I don't spam. Tell me the words where your name is appearing and I'll take care of it.

First of all I love your site. Second, how do you guys actually make money by having a free website full of dirty words and stuff?
STALLS Kansas City
Huh? Your susposed to be paying to see all those words... how did you get free access to the site?

what if i fuck girl with sperm in side her? what will happen
This is usually called Sloppy Seconds.

To me, I usually see it as a potential show date on Maury Povich with her other man to see who's going to be paying child support for the next 18 years.

Whats it called when a dumb broad rubs your dick and goes over your piss hole and she rubs it horizontal rather than with the grain? ... thats like the worst feeling in the world and any dame that does it should die.
Van Pally, N.Y.
Agreed. If you want, I can make it my sacred duty to educate all the women in the world about proper ways of Cocksmanship. You all know how to reach me.

Okay, that's it for now. There are still some more questions, but at this point, my computer time is up. Keep up the word submissions, the fan mail and the questions. We really do read the fan mail and it makes our day when somebody sends us a thumbs up.


About Turdwords.com   Contact Us   Link to Us   Privacy Policy