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TurdWords.Com - Jack-O-Meter TurdWords.Com - Jack-O-Meter  View all Turdovations
 

Turdwords' Turdovation -- the Jack-O-Meter"

With all the craze of getting fit and warnings of obesity making headlines in today's newspapers, Turdwords has decided to jump into the fray to help you get and stay in shape!

Introducing the Turdwords' Jack-O-Meter!

The Turdwords' Jack-o-Meter!
This simple device attaches to your hand and allows you to count strokes while wacking it at your favorite Masturbation Station. The space-age technology is the latest in fat and muscle building science!

The Turdwords' Jack-O-Meter counts strokes, calories burned and miles rubbed! What other personal device does all that?

Scientific studies indicate you need over 1,000 pumps a day to build muscle mass. Counting that while working your forearms during masturbation would defeat half the purpose. That's why our engineers designed the Jack-O-Meter to aid you in your five knuckle shuffle. Your rendevous with Mother Thumb and her 4 Daughters will never be the same!

Still a skeptic? Just check out these untouched photos:

Stage 1

Here's a putz that only has minimal muscle development. He's ripe to have a meat head give him a Hot Gym Brownie. He's even holding the 'mock cock' wrong.

Look what happens after 1 week of use of the Jack-O-Meter.

Stage 3

Just 1,000 strokes a day has made this formally limp-wristed computer programmer into someone capable of a Marathon wrist.

Now look at the dramatic results after 30 days and increasing the jack-o-meter to 10,000 reps!

Stage 3  Stage 3

Notice the definition, vascularity and power. No creatine required! He's huge and no longer needs to be a freaking Pantie Troll. This is one guy who can certainly deliver a Vermont Breakfast with gusto!

Still don't believe us? Check out these satisfied Turdwords' customers who used to be solo porn doggs!

The Jack-O-Meter saved my life. I was suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome and my wrist constantly cracked. People accused me of being gay. I tried every imaginable exercise but they didn't hold my interest. However, the jack-o-meter kept me honest. Within weeks, I lost 15 pounds of fat and gained 20 pounds of solid muscle.

Thank you Turdwords!

Frank P., Livonia, MI.


I used to surf porn all day. I was into Passionate Midori from dawn to dusk. I bought your Jack-O-Meter to contain my porn addiction. Now, I keep it under 3,000 reps per day and it keeps me honest.

Hidori A. Kyoto, Japan


Dear Turdwords: I lift weights like crazy, but my forearms were constantly lagging behind. Creatine, Nitric Oxide and Gluatamine didn't help. My biceps looks like Bluto's, but my forearms looked like Olive Oyle's. I bought your Jack-O-Meter and put in an amazing 20,000 reps a day. Now I am huge! Watch out Popeye!

Luke A, Buffalo, NY

You heard about it here folks. Don't get into fitness without Turdwords' Jack-O-Meter on your Dick Beaters . They come in a variety of colors and come with a free bottle of hand lotion.

Order one today!

 

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