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It's spring break time and as you know, everyone at Turdwords heads off to Mexico, Florida,
or other warmer climes. And believe it or not, we aren't there to check out
each other's Hanging Chads. We are
there to score some trim and see a few
Landing Strips.
In addition to the panty raiding, there's also the quest for a good booze buzz.
Now, not everyone can be lucky to get wasted and find a chick to make
Ohio Pancakes with. Most
of the interns wind up with Whiskey Dick and only deserving of a
Pity Fuck. Poor souls! (They only wish they could be editors like us!)
Of course, one must be careful on vacation. There are plenty of
Ass Goblins that are preying upon
the weak-willed who are inebriated beyond their normal senses. It doesn't take a genius to figure out
what went down when you wake up with your jeans around your ankles and a mysterious wet spot
on your underoos (and realize that it's cause wasn't from the the burritos you had the night before).
(Watch out for those Anal Creampies)
That is why when Turdwords editor RJ went on spring break, we made sure that no one
would mistake for anything but the
Tri-County Champ that he is.
As all the interns and editors know, he was going to get shit-faced drunk,
and we wanted to make sure his vacation was one of fond memories and not hazy ones
that involved Glass Bottom Boats and
anal omlettes.
Since we couldn't be the wingmen that he
so righteously deserves, we set up shop on the beach and did what only friends can do for RJ...
No we aren't prepping RJ for a
Poo Probe, we are going to
scribe into his flesh (permanently, I might add) an exit only sign, so there's absolutely
no mistaking him for a
Stool Pusher
Did it work?
"Of course it worked," RJ stated matter of factly. "That freshly minted tattoo worked like a gem. I passed out
on Saturday night and woke up in an alley completely unmolested. In the past, I've had friends
who went to Mexico, passed out, and woke up the next morning hogtied and being on the receiving
end of a
Butt Fiesta. Thanks guys. I owe you one!"
And best of all, while laying out in the sun, several women who
were interested in his finely toned and tanned body approached him without wondering if he was a
Turd Tipper. All the more reason
why to find the Turdwords Exit Only Tattoo Hut on your next spring break. You won't regret it!
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