Stall Scrawls - Bathroom Wall Quotes
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| One of the last untapped (and overlooked) sources of poetry is the stuff found on the stalls of the local bathroom. Sure, we've seen the usual crap, like "Call Betsy for a good time" or "My penis is huge" but occasionally while dropping the kids off at the pool we've seen genius at work. Perhaps even you have taken the time to write something creative, share it with us. Either way, read our user submitted collection of bathroom wall quotes from around the world. |
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| At TurdWords.Com, we've given you the opportunity to gain wisdom from the scrawlings of other scatalogically inclined people, such as yourself. Check out what your fellow visitors have recorded below or feel free to submit one of your own. |
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Showing 1-25 of 199
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Do you like Big Boobs? These hefty's are looking for you.
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Flush twice - it's a long way to the Bursar's office.
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Submitted by: jim
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Added: 5/28/2003
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(2265 votes)
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Found At: campus computer lab bathroom
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There was a genie with an eight foot weinie
who showed it to a girl next door,
She thought it was a snake,
so she hit it with a rake,
now its only six foot four!
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Submitted by: Ryan----AK
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Added: 4/20/2004
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(2225 votes)
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Found At: a note on the floor
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Oh I wish I were a diamond
Upon my Lula's hand
Then every time she wiped her ass
I'd see the promised land.
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Submitted by: Mungo Jerry
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(2198 votes)
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Found At: Sid's Tamale House
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"F" is for fart that stirs up a breeze,
And smells even worse then Limberger cheese.
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Submitted by: Mary S.
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Added: 10/29/2004
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(2159 votes)
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Found At: Utopia
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Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away
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Submitted by: RJ
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Added: 11/13/2004
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(2079 votes)
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Found At: Taco Bell
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Please don't throw matches in the toilet,
the crabs can pole-vault!!
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Submitted by: Uterus Orungus
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Added: 11/12/2004
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(1927 votes)
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Found At: Public Restroom at a gas station in Georgia
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My name is Pancho
I live on a rancho
I make five peso a day
Your seester, Aluci
she gave me some pussy
and took my five peso away!
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Submitted by: B Brewer
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Added: 11/22/2004
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(2228 votes)
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Found At: shithouse wall
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I once knew a guy from Bel Air
Who was doing his gal on the stair
the bannister broke
so he doubled his stroke
and finished her off in mid-air
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Submitted by: Bob Pigment
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Added: 10/29/2003
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(2627 votes)
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Found At: Melody's
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Here I sit in perfect bliss,
listenin to the sound of piss,
now and then a fart is heard,
mingled with a DROPPING TURD!!!
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Submitted by: Sharkie
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Added: 9/4/2003
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(2348 votes)
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Found At: grandma told me when i was young
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Please dont throw your cigarette butts in the toliet, it makes them wet and soggy and hard to light.
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Submitted by: Darin F
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Added: 6/20/2003
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(2183 votes)
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Found At: bathroom wall at bar
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here i sit broken hearted
paid a dime and only farted
next time, i'll take a chance
save a dime and shit my pants
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Submitted by: darin
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Added: 2/6/2003
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(2803 votes)
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Found At: toliet in store with paid stalls
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Big or small,
Thick or thin,
Vaseline will get it in,
In the night there came a scream:
"Who put the sand in the vaseline???"
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Submitted by: Genny
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Added: 9/19/2003
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(2470 votes)
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Found At: Pickering High School
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Search for Black Women Seeking Men just like you
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anyone can piss on the seat, be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
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Submitted by: bobby
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Added: 4/6/2003
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(2463 votes)
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Found At: backstrech
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Why fart and waste it,
When you can burp and taste it?
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Submitted by: kimbykat
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Added: 10/29/2004
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(2375 votes)
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Found At: Uranus
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(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."
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Submitted by: RJ
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Added: 11/13/2004
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(2325 votes)
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Found At: Alumni Club - Chicago
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Flush twice....it's a long way to the cafeteria.
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Submitted by: HeyJoe
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Added: 2/3/2003
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(2895 votes)
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Found At: University of Wisconsin men's room.
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Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The mouse ran down,
It's ass was brown,
And so was the Cuckoo's Cock!
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Submitted by: DMBFCK
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Added: 5/8/2003
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(2607 votes)
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Found At: Work
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Standing in eternal bliss...
Listening to the rippling piss...
Now and then a splash is heard...
Of some far off falling turd...
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Submitted by: Beard
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Added: 3/11/2003
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(2358 votes)
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Found At: College dorm shitter
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Heres to the stork who brings the good babies....
heres to the crow that brings the bad babies....
and heres to the swallow that brings no babies at all.
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Submitted by: Justin
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Added: 3/10/2004
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(2580 votes)
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Found At: Bar Toast, Pub 13
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There once was an old hermit named Dave.
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
She was missing a tit and smelled like shit,
But look at the money he saved.
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Submitted by: Dantid
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Added: 3/24/2004
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(2854 votes)
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Found At: First Round Tavern, Albany,OR
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There once was a girl named Dot
Who liked to eat pig shit and snot
When she couldn't get these things
She ate the green cheese
That she scraped from the walls of her twat
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Submitted by: Mr Stain
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Added: 11/3/2004
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(597 votes)
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Found At: Somewhere in Seattle
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2 pornos- $40
tube of ky jelly- $5
roll of toilet paper- 99 cent
Knowing you didn't get anyone pregnant, PRICELESS
for some things sex can't solve there's masturbation!!!!!
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Submitted by: jeremy
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Added: 10/5/2004
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(574 votes)
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Found At: made up
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this is a teepee
for going peepee
not a wigwam
for beating your tomtom
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Submitted by: cicatriz
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Added: 8/14/2003
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(2519 votes)
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Found At: cocopah bingo
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There i sat,
upon my bum,
my face so red,
my ass so numb.
So there i was,
broken hearted,
i pushed so hard,
but only farted.
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Submitted by: Sweet-T
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Added: 9/19/2003
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(2745 votes)
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Found At: Made it up a few minutes ago on the crapper
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If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie
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Submitted by: Sheila
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Added: 2/1/2003
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(2433 votes)
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Found At: Workplace Crapper
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Showing 1-25 of 199
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